Is it disrespectful to my kids and late wife to date a woman 10 years younger than me?

Rocker61 · 08-20-2008, 01:44 AM

My wife died about 10 years ago of breast cancer. I have made acquaintance with a woman through common interests, and I am interested in dating her. There are just two problems:1. She's 10 years younger than me2. I don't know if my kids will be okay with me having a woman besides their mother in my life. They all took her death pretty hard, and I fear they may see it as a slap in the face.Any suggestions?

maria · 08-20-2008, 01:46 AM

its been 10 yearsbut you should talk to your kids first

wayt0myl0ve-chord · 08-20-2008, 01:48 AM

ask your kid whether can they accept a "new" mum..

stargazer76 · 08-20-2008, 01:50 AM

Not at all. But if you fear your kids may not be ok with it, try talking to them about how you feel. Over time, they will be able to accept and adjust to the change....

sugaree · 08-20-2008, 01:53 AM

after 10 years your kids should realize that you have to live your life according to what gives you happiness. my wife died 7 years ago and i live with a girl 12 years younger than me. my daughter has no problem with that.

TobiasS · 08-20-2008, 01:55 AM

Not after ten years man. Everyone has the right to move on. Now it does not mean your kids will accept it... but rationally speaking you have the right to companionship.

Kiyoko · 08-20-2008, 01:57 AM

Of course, your kids will not understand anytime soon. They'll think "Is Dad not grieved by the loss?" but, it depends on how old they are. Even teenagers don't understand sometimes, but you have to let them know that she would have wanted you to meet other people, now that she's gone.

LardTacos · 08-20-2008, 01:59 AM

You have a right to date whomever you want. 10 years difference isn't all that bad at all. Just introduce her to your kids slowly...don't rush things and don't rush them to get used to the idea. At some point it may be necessary to talk to your kids about how you've been feeling, and that your dating new people by no means you don't miss their mom any less....but that life has to go on for every one including you, and you would like to be happy again with a nice lady at your side. I'd like to think your kids would like to see you happy again.

Nickisme · 08-20-2008, 02:01 AM

Is she younger than any of your kids? That's definitely something that would anger your kids. Just tell your kids that you will always love their mother, but that you want to share your life with someone again.

Barbarella · 08-20-2008, 02:04 AM

Go for it. You have been 10 years without love and affection from a partner. You deserve it. Your children will have to find a way to deal with it. I'm sure you will handle it sensitively with them. Talk to them, you don't need to mention the age gap until you have sussed out how they feel about you dating another woman. If they are receptive, let them digest the fact that you are ready to move on from their mother's memory and then let them know she is younger than you. Be prepared for their reactions/questions. Give them answers, be open and honest with them. Don't let their reactions govern your life. Remember, they are the children, you are the adult. You have cared for them for 10 years alone,supported them through probably the hardest thing they will ever have to go through. They may find it tough but they have had to deal with worse. So what if she is 10 years younger. Age should not be a problem if you are compatible.

08-20-2008, 01:44 AM	#1
Rocker61 Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1	Is it disrespectful to my kids and late wife to date a woman 10 years younger than me? My wife died about 10 years ago of breast cancer. I have made acquaintance with a woman through common interests, and I am interested in dating her. There are just two problems:1. She's 10 years younger than me2. I don't know if my kids will be okay with me having a woman besides their mother in my life. They all took her death pretty hard, and I fear they may see it as a slap in the face.Any suggestions?

08-20-2008, 01:46 AM	#2
maria Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1	Is it disrespectful to my kids and late wife to date a woman 10 years younger than me? its been 10 yearsbut you should talk to your kids first

08-20-2008, 01:48 AM	#3
wayt0myl0ve-chord Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1	Is it disrespectful to my kids and late wife to date a woman 10 years younger than me? ask your kid whether can they accept a "new" mum..

08-20-2008, 01:50 AM	#4
stargazer76 Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1	Is it disrespectful to my kids and late wife to date a woman 10 years younger than me? Not at all. But if you fear your kids may not be ok with it, try talking to them about how you feel. Over time, they will be able to accept and adjust to the change....

08-20-2008, 01:53 AM	#5
sugaree Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1	Is it disrespectful to my kids and late wife to date a woman 10 years younger than me? after 10 years your kids should realize that you have to live your life according to what gives you happiness. my wife died 7 years ago and i live with a girl 12 years younger than me. my daughter has no problem with that.

08-20-2008, 01:55 AM	#6
TobiasS Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1	Is it disrespectful to my kids and late wife to date a woman 10 years younger than me? Not after ten years man. Everyone has the right to move on. Now it does not mean your kids will accept it... but rationally speaking you have the right to companionship.

08-20-2008, 01:57 AM	#7
Kiyoko Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1	Is it disrespectful to my kids and late wife to date a woman 10 years younger than me? Of course, your kids will not understand anytime soon. They'll think "Is Dad not grieved by the loss?" but, it depends on how old they are. Even teenagers don't understand sometimes, but you have to let them know that she would have wanted you to meet other people, now that she's gone.

08-20-2008, 01:59 AM	#8
LardTacos Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1	Is it disrespectful to my kids and late wife to date a woman 10 years younger than me? You have a right to date whomever you want. 10 years difference isn't all that bad at all. Just introduce her to your kids slowly...don't rush things and don't rush them to get used to the idea. At some point it may be necessary to talk to your kids about how you've been feeling, and that your dating new people by no means you don't miss their mom any less....but that life has to go on for every one including you, and you would like to be happy again with a nice lady at your side. I'd like to think your kids would like to see you happy again.

08-20-2008, 02:01 AM	#9
Nickisme Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1	Is it disrespectful to my kids and late wife to date a woman 10 years younger than me? Is she younger than any of your kids? That's definitely something that would anger your kids. Just tell your kids that you will always love their mother, but that you want to share your life with someone again.

08-20-2008, 02:04 AM	#10
Barbarella Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1	Is it disrespectful to my kids and late wife to date a woman 10 years younger than me? Go for it. You have been 10 years without love and affection from a partner. You deserve it. Your children will have to find a way to deal with it. I'm sure you will handle it sensitively with them. Talk to them, you don't need to mention the age gap until you have sussed out how they feel about you dating another woman. If they are receptive, let them digest the fact that you are ready to move on from their mother's memory and then let them know she is younger than you. Be prepared for their reactions/questions. Give them answers, be open and honest with them. Don't let their reactions govern your life. Remember, they are the children, you are the adult. You have cared for them for 10 years alone,supported them through probably the hardest thing they will ever have to go through. They may find it tough but they have had to deal with worse. So what if she is 10 years younger. Age should not be a problem if you are compatible.

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